Lost Without a Toilet

lostTonight, millions brace themselves for the final episode of the ABC TV drama, LOST. This has been a long time coming. If you are like me, you have been watching these island inhabitants for 6 years now.

When I reflect on just how long I have been rooting for Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Hurley, and the gang, I realize it’s been quite a journey for all of us. My youngest was a baby when the show first started, and we didn’t have DVR either. I remember rushing to get him to bed, and crossing our fingers that we would make it through an entire episode with no interruptions. The show is and was addicting. It’s hard to believe that we’re at the end.

Anyone who watches LOST knows there are endless amounts of questions still lingering, and that’s just for the storyline itself. Did you ever wonder about the day to day happenings on the island, or the “behind the scenes” so to speak? Like, how does Kate’s hair always look so nice? Or, how is it that Hurley hasn’t really lost any weight? What are the rules when it comes to claiming food? And, most importantly, what is the island toilet etiquette? Imagine Lost without a Toilet or a Spaloo Bidet?

I know, I can’t help wondering about island toileting- it’s only natural (pun intended) for toilet guys like me. So, let’s see…stranded on an island, you know you’re doing the primitive hole digging thing. Is there an area of the island that is just a big bank of pit toilets? How were these areas arranged- women’s vs men’s? These characters have been on the island for YEARS now, which I’m sure they never banked on. So, does that mean they had to keep adding new holes?

Most importantly, what did they use for toilet paper? Leaves?! You know that any TP supply left over or found on the plane had to be depleted by now. I may not like using toilet paper, but I can tell you that I definitely would not like using leaves. No wonder Sawyer is so grumpy!

toilet-occupiedMy last question has to do with the actual etiquette part. For any given “toilet”, is there a method to know when one is “occupied”? I feel that even though this is a makeshift society, that something along these lines would be key.

Even though many are looking for answers with tonight’s finale, I know most of the questions are probably not on the same wavelength as mine. I also surmise that I may never know the answers. That’s ok. But I can’t help wonder these things.

I hope never to be stranded on a deserted island, I love modern technology too much. While some might say they would miss their computer, tv or phones, it’s no secret which convenience I would prefer not to part with. Yup, I am spoiled by my Spaloo-enhanced toilet, and would be most assuredly LOST without it.

Enjoy the show!

Bruce