Is it just me or is my toilet paper shrinking. Or is the problem that my hands (and my bottom) are getting bigger? I don’t think so, I am pretty sure the problem is the great shrinking toilet paper conspiracy of 2015.
Earlier in the year I noticed that my toilet paper roll was just a little narrower. At first I thought that maybe, just maybe I was imagining things. Or perhaps it was some off brand that I purchased. The roll of toilet paper seemed to have a profuse gap on either side when placed in the toilet paper holder.
Well as it turns out, my earlier suspicions were much more than my imagination running wild. In fact my latest purchase of toilet paper is even narrower yet. This most recent batch flops around from side to side in the toilet paper holder and is merely 3-1/2” wide. There must be something more to the story. Perhaps there is in fact a shrinking toilet paper conspiracy after all. Let’s examine the facts:
What is the Standard Size of Toilet Paper?
Up until the end of the last century, 4-1/2” wide toilet paper rolls was pretty common in the industry and the standard for most manufacturers. A single sheet of toilet paper was 4-1/2” wide x 4-1/2” long. It is widely believed that this 4-1/2” width was initially produced to match the size of the average width of our hands. That seems to make sense!
So then why make it smaller, and smaller, and smaller? Well around 2006 and again in 2009, toilet paper manufacturers tried to pull one over on us. Some of the manufacturers started making the rolls incrementally smaller to reduce their manufacturing costs in a very competitive marketplace.
No problem at all at 4.3 inches, or even 4.25 inches wide. We barely even noticed! How about 4” wide toilet paper rolls? Well now you can visually see the difference. It even gets worse, at 3-1/2” wide a sheet of toilet paper is barely functional. Have no fear, you can eliminate your toilet paper altogether and install a Spaloo Bidet:
What’s up With the Shrinking Toilet Paper Conspiracy?
It’s relatively simple. To improve their bottom line (without considering our bottoms) the manufacturers did a little math. You don’t need to be a toilet paper CFO to know that by reducing the width of toilet paper from 4-1/2” to 3-1/2” you can reduce your costs by 22%, providing your customers don’t notice. But for those of us who did catch on to “The Great Shrinking Toilet Paper Conspiracy of 2015,” we will continue to use our Spaloo Bidets.